While watching a Grey’s Anatomy episode, the character Miranda Bailey says, “On your death bed, no one ever says they wish they worked more.”
Sometimes you have to say “Enough!”
I am thirty years old, and will celebrate my 31st time around the sun next month. For the most part I am healthy. I do not smoke, I eat a mostly Vegan diet, I do yoga, but I could probably incorporate more cardio into my exercise. I identify as a Highly Sensitive Person, which means I can tune in to all of my senses more than most would consider ‘normal’. This means that what may be just another day at work for some, can be too much for me.
I tend to work in a nurturing environment, but when everyone else’s needs go before my own, I need some time to recharge and find balance.
About two weeks ago, I had an Anxiety Attack. My muscles became stiff and I had an ongoing pain/tightness in my chest. I have known for some time that my job was not the right fit, but I just had to continue to survive financially. I put in my three month notice two months ago (as per my contract). The pressure was building, but I went through the daily routine with the peace of mind that it would be over soon. Unfortunately, I was pushed too far. You can only bend so much before you break. The back pain and tightness in my chest transformed into shortness of breath and insomnia. When I went to the Doctor to get a prescription, I had a complete breakdown. I recall asking him “How do you call in sick for anxiety?” He prescribed me muscle relaxers and two weeks excused from work.
This is not the first time this has happened in my life. I had a mild panic attack at the age of 25, and my mother helped me create a plan to get out of the uncomfortable situation by allowing me to move in with her. The second time, I was 28 and I decided it was time to change the scenery again…this time I moved to Europe.
I thought I had a pretty good handle on my stresses in life. The Universe will send very clear messages when it is time for a change. I should not have allowed the third time to happen. The idea that this could all build up and eventually lead to heart disease (a common death among women) or a heart attack is troublesome.
Why do people put themselves through so much? Society creates unnecessary pressure. It is more important to live a life that makes you happy. So let the little things go and do not give so much of yourself when it is not reciprocated.